Deepening the connections between animals & humans

My Relationship with My Horse Figure

Horse have been on the periphery of my life except for two short periods. One when I was a young girl, approximately 13 years old 15. I had a pony named Prince. I loved this feisty little guy. I was one of the only people who could ride him. He bucked most people off his back. I took full responsibility for Prince until I was sent away to boarding school and I left him behind. I have very little memory of leaving him. How sad for both of us. I know I blocked it all out, not dealing with the feelings I had for this little guy. I also had a horse I was able to visit and ride whenever I wanted. His name was Joe, a big huge thoroughbred, 17 hands tall. He was gorgeous. His owners did not have time for him. So he was alone in the field always. I am not sure how this relationship started. But I used to get my parents to drop me off to visit with him. He was a gorgeous horse and I suspect I was just a young girl, around 14 or 15 years old. I was not intimidated by his size. He and I became friends. He taught me how to jump, ride bareback and to ride in the river. He and I were very close, I suspect I was one of his only visitors. Then I was sent away to school and I left him behind. The owners offered to sell him to us and my father asked me if I wanted him. In retrospect how much different my life would have been had I taken this horse off to school with me. How sad I left him behind. Both of these horses gave me a sense of confidence and acceptance I had not had before. I regret my life took a different turn and left these incredible creatures behind.

So here I am at 50 years old and I am back into horses again, finally. I am proud to say I have adopted a rescue horse, Figure. He has many issues, including fear and phobias from his previous life. He and I are learning how to tame our fears together. I never realized I had so many fears until I adopted this horse.

My own experience with a rescue horse has transformed my life. Where I used to be so concerned with what others thought of me, I am now much more content to be alone, with myself. How did this happen?

My horse demands that I be present with what is happening, here and now. When I am with him, he does not care what I am feeling, just that I be real. Meaning, if I am sad, hurt, angry or happy, I acknowledge that feeling now. I have to be with wherever I am at the moment. If not, he will have nothing to do with me or he will model my real feelings, until I get it, acknowledge it, and reach acceptance.

I am a stronger, nice, calmer and more relaxed person since starting this relationship 4 years ago. I am much more independent and secure in my own self. I am also more accepting of me, who I am; my limitations, and my desires and goals in life have become clearer.

My focus has become more the here and now and less the future and the past. Life is enjoyable on a daily basis just because it is. Not because of anything I have done or become. I have a sense of peace I have not known since childhood.

I am searching less and less outside to find the answer to happiness and peace and more in the moments enjoyment.

My horse Figure is a very old soul. He is a healer who has volunteered to help me become who I am; separate from what I do or who I look like. I am content more to just be. I find great comfort and joy in being with myself and my horse.

I have a sense of calm I never had before. Life is good today. Peace is always attainable.

I have been pushed to assert myself too. I have had to learn boundary setting, to establish and maintain my own personal boundaries. Figure is a very large creature and can hurt me easily. It is for my own safety that I have had to establish and maintain clear and appropriate boundaries.

My confidence has grown tremendously since working with this horse. He makes me feel like I can do it, and once I do, the rewards are limitless. The sky is the limit.

And we are moving slowly. He is a rescue horse, me a co-dependent, fearful woman living in a patriarchal culture.

The process is evolving, slowly things are changing for both of us as we grow and learn together in this 2 and 4 legged relationship. He is the teacher, I am the student.

Now 4 years after adopting this wonderful creature, I now have a mini horse, Max..

With the help of an incredible woman, I rescued another horse. Jake is a Polish Arab whose owner could no longer care for him. My hope was that Jake would be reunited with Figure as they both helped me teach the EFEL work. The two were dear friends at the horse rescue. Unfortunately, we lost Jake this March 2nd to colick, probably from Cushings Disease. Jake was cremated and put to rest in Londonderry where he lived a really good last year. We hope that Jake is with us all in spirit as we progress to share the EFEL work with humans.